So..where were we?

In case you have been wondering, I- (Ica) have not really been writing of late. Its been almost three months, I can't even remember the last time I sat in front of some form of device (mobile or desktop) to actually write. Well, needless to say something life changing has happened to me, in case you missed it, Paul and I had a baby! 

So yes, all those cliche lines of what your mom and dad used to say about having a baby-happened, is actually still happening to us. Its been a roller coaster of emotions these past few months. For one thing, I became hypertensive when I reached my seventh month of pregnancy. My OB had me take a leave from work, take a butt load of medicines and essentially rest until I gave birth. I had to monitor my blood pressure,which would reach an alarming 180/110 and I wouldn't feel a thing! Which is kind of scary when you think about it. 

I hated being alone at home, while Paul left for work in the evening. For the last few weeks leading to giving birth, I would literally be alone in the house and I hated it. It's funny because I had a relatively easy time up until I reached my third trimester, when I hit a BP reading of 140 and it wouldn't come down anymore and I ended up in the hospital, to make things worse it happened on the week of my birthday. So now that my relatively "easy" pregnancy was non existent, I was left to a miserable rest of my pregnancy, which was essentially the whole month of July.

Because I was hypertensive my OB wanted to have me induced for labor, which is what happened, on August 4, we went to the hospital and as luck would have it, I didn't have a particularly easy delivery either. I went through labor and my God! It's as painful as they say it is, dysmenorrhea times 1000! I honestly don't know why anyone would want to go through that again, hats off to moms with children (emphasis on the "ren"). 

Honestly it was really scary, it was like an episode of a medical drama, when it was time to push, the baby wouldn't go down, I was looking at a monitor to my left and I could see my blood pressure had shot to 170/110 and when I looked at the fetal monitor at my right, I could see that the baby was going into fetal distress, it was honestly, one of the scariest moments of my life. My OB then decided to push through with an emergency Caesarean Section. While they were getting Paul's signature for the procedure, I was honestly in denial as everything was happening but like I said, it was like an episode of a medical drama but instead of being the audience who was at the edge of their seat, I was the helpless patient lying on the OR table. 

I remember not feeling anything (because of the anesthesia of course) but I could feel the tugging, like my skin was being pulled in both directions, then I heard the OB saying that it was "cord coil" (umbilical cord wrapped around the baby's neck) which was why he wouldn't go down. 

I saw my son as they brought him to the baby area, I could hear the pediatrician and other nurses working on him. I heard them counting his fingers and toes and being the paranoid mom I was just waiting to hear 'four' or 'six' but thank God they were all five. 

I remember saying a genuine thanks to my OB before I went I to a weird wake-sleep state. Just a few hours later I woke up shaking violently in the recovery room. When I called the nurse she said it was just the effect of the anesthesia. While my arms were shaking violently, my legs felt like tree trunks, they were so heavy and I couldn't lift them. 

Now it was baby out at 9:26PM, by around 2:00AM I was already on Facebook chatting with my in laws. After a while I was brought to the hospital room where Paul, my mom and sister were waiting. In the morning our son Luke Stephen was brought in the room and life has not been the same since.

Luke will be two months in a few days (I know! Where did the time go?!) 

I've told Paul that "pregnant Ica" was different from "regular Ica" and now I guess "Mommy Ica" is different from the Ica that I was. I still don't how to reconcile them both into just "one Ica" but I guess time will have to play a role in that. 

Right now I'm in this weird state of wanting to get back to my old routine, work, movies, events, the blog but as I said things will never be the same again now that we have a baby in the picture. It's less than a month before my maternity leave ends and I can't imagine leaving Luke, right now just thinking about it brings me to tears. 

So going back to the question "Where were we?" -actually I'm not really sure, as I am typing this on my iPad, Luke is breast feeding (don't ask how, but it is possible) I'll definitely work hard to get back to the old Ica but I'll definitely work harder towards the new Ica and hopefully that version of me is better and stronger, we'll definitely need it.