Change of Plans

Last September 25, 2017 I wrote a personal post about giving birth to Luke, taking some down time and what it was like being a new mom. I thought that I would be back to work by October 23, 2017 (and hence back to regular programming) by then but it seems that the universe has other plans. 

About a week when I was due back to work, I was rushed to the ER because of vomiting and loss of appetite. One of the ER doctors noticed something strange about my pulse rate. After a chest ultrasound, they found that I have an enlarged heart. Apparently my gestational hypertension (high blood when pregnant) brought stress on my heart, which in turn caused my heart to grow larger. (I would get blood pressure readings as high as 180/110). 

I stayed in the hospital as they tried to manage my increased heart rate. I missed Thor: Ragnarok press screening and eventually my scheduled return to work. The weeks that followed was me trying to deal with an onslaught of symptoms, which I had no idea why there manifesting. I would be in and out of the ER as I tried to deal with loss of appetite, difficulty of breathing, LBM, hot flushes, chest pains, body malaise and swelling. I lost a lot of weight during this time, going back to my college days where in I weighed about 90lbs. I could feel my rib cage again :( all those pounds I worked so hard to put on for the past years were suddenly non-existent.  

During this time, Luke was staying with my mom, he would stay with us, when it was Paul's days off. I was miserable. I would get bouts of anxiety, waking up in the dark, sweating and I having difficulty in breathing. During my low points, I would scratch myself all over my legs leading to ugly scars and I would pick at the scabs. They're just dark patches on my legs now, slowly healing, I would like to think that I'm slowly healing too. Slowly getting used to living with "heart failure" but let's save that for another personal blog post. 

Physically, I could no longer do the things I was able to. Climbing up the stairs was already difficult for me. One of the things I liked about working in Eastwood, was that I could walk from one end to the next. In my present condition, I couldn't do much walking anymore. Taking public transportation was also a challenge, getting up on jeepneys (and their already stressful driving experience) would certainly carry a toll on my heart. 

Once my doctor, errr..my Cardiologist rather, prescribed a number of different meds I felt better. There was a week, where in I was so energetic, I wanted to do so many things. I ended up reviving my old oDesk (now Up Work) account and doing some freelance writing. Once my body got used to the meds, I settled to having good days and bad days. Some days I felt completely normal, like I could do whatever and anything I wanted, but then things would turn for the worse and my heart and chest would hurt, I would be weak and have no appetite. The next week months was learning to be familiar with the extent of what my heart could take. I figured that if my heart was not okay, I would exhibit all the symptoms I felt before. 

I would spend the rest of 2017 on house arrest, staying in our room and taking care of Luke. It was a big change of plans from what I originally thought I would be doing (you know, back to work, back to regular programming and all) and if you knew me, you'd know I hate any change in plans. But such is life and you just learn to roll with the punches (even if it was a sucker punch out of nowhere).  

Until now, I'm still trying to figure things out and I don't know how much this will change me, or my life. I know I want to make the best out of everything and my present health condition will certainly make it a challenge but then again if it was easy, then it won't be worth it-right?  

#LivingWithHeartFailure

So..where were we?

In case you have been wondering, I- (Ica) have not really been writing of late. Its been almost three months, I can't even remember the last time I sat in front of some form of device (mobile or desktop) to actually write. Well, needless to say something life changing has happened to me, in case you missed it, Paul and I had a baby! 

So yes, all those cliche lines of what your mom and dad used to say about having a baby-happened, is actually still happening to us. Its been a roller coaster of emotions these past few months. For one thing, I became hypertensive when I reached my seventh month of pregnancy. My OB had me take a leave from work, take a butt load of medicines and essentially rest until I gave birth. I had to monitor my blood pressure,which would reach an alarming 180/110 and I wouldn't feel a thing! Which is kind of scary when you think about it. 

I hated being alone at home, while Paul left for work in the evening. For the last few weeks leading to giving birth, I would literally be alone in the house and I hated it. It's funny because I had a relatively easy time up until I reached my third trimester, when I hit a BP reading of 140 and it wouldn't come down anymore and I ended up in the hospital, to make things worse it happened on the week of my birthday. So now that my relatively "easy" pregnancy was non existent, I was left to a miserable rest of my pregnancy, which was essentially the whole month of July.

Because I was hypertensive my OB wanted to have me induced for labor, which is what happened, on August 4, we went to the hospital and as luck would have it, I didn't have a particularly easy delivery either. I went through labor and my God! It's as painful as they say it is, dysmenorrhea times 1000! I honestly don't know why anyone would want to go through that again, hats off to moms with children (emphasis on the "ren"). 

Honestly it was really scary, it was like an episode of a medical drama, when it was time to push, the baby wouldn't go down, I was looking at a monitor to my left and I could see my blood pressure had shot to 170/110 and when I looked at the fetal monitor at my right, I could see that the baby was going into fetal distress, it was honestly, one of the scariest moments of my life. My OB then decided to push through with an emergency Caesarean Section. While they were getting Paul's signature for the procedure, I was honestly in denial as everything was happening but like I said, it was like an episode of a medical drama but instead of being the audience who was at the edge of their seat, I was the helpless patient lying on the OR table. 

I remember not feeling anything (because of the anesthesia of course) but I could feel the tugging, like my skin was being pulled in both directions, then I heard the OB saying that it was "cord coil" (umbilical cord wrapped around the baby's neck) which was why he wouldn't go down. 

I saw my son as they brought him to the baby area, I could hear the pediatrician and other nurses working on him. I heard them counting his fingers and toes and being the paranoid mom I was just waiting to hear 'four' or 'six' but thank God they were all five. 

I remember saying a genuine thanks to my OB before I went I to a weird wake-sleep state. Just a few hours later I woke up shaking violently in the recovery room. When I called the nurse she said it was just the effect of the anesthesia. While my arms were shaking violently, my legs felt like tree trunks, they were so heavy and I couldn't lift them. 

Now it was baby out at 9:26PM, by around 2:00AM I was already on Facebook chatting with my in laws. After a while I was brought to the hospital room where Paul, my mom and sister were waiting. In the morning our son Luke Stephen was brought in the room and life has not been the same since.

Luke will be two months in a few days (I know! Where did the time go?!) 

I've told Paul that "pregnant Ica" was different from "regular Ica" and now I guess "Mommy Ica" is different from the Ica that I was. I still don't how to reconcile them both into just "one Ica" but I guess time will have to play a role in that. 

Right now I'm in this weird state of wanting to get back to my old routine, work, movies, events, the blog but as I said things will never be the same again now that we have a baby in the picture. It's less than a month before my maternity leave ends and I can't imagine leaving Luke, right now just thinking about it brings me to tears. 

So going back to the question "Where were we?" -actually I'm not really sure, as I am typing this on my iPad, Luke is breast feeding (don't ask how, but it is possible) I'll definitely work hard to get back to the old Ica but I'll definitely work harder towards the new Ica and hopefully that version of me is better and stronger, we'll definitely need it. 

Opinion: Why People Shouldn't Hate On "Batman V Superman"

In recent years, 'Superhero Movies' have saturated the market, think about it- two Spider-Man reboots, which equals to five films. Five X-Men movies, which could be categorized with another movie -'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly', then of course we have 'The Wolverine' movies, I still loathe 'Origins' so much. Then of course we have two 'Avengers' ensemble movies, three 'Iron-Man' movies, two 'Captain America' Movies, two 'Thor' movies, three 'Fantastic Four' movies-which no one seems to get right. I can't even remember if Edward Norton did two 'Hulk' movies. (The husband reminded me that Norton did one and Eric Bana did the other one) Of course we also have the surprise hit 'Guardians of the Galaxy', 'Ant-Man' and the record breaking 'Deadpool'. All of these Marvel properties have created a new genre of movies something kids can follow and enjoy and something the adults don't have to wrap their head around too much. 

Then of course we have the DC Properties which have been releasing 'Batman' and 'Superman' movies way back in the 70's and 80's. Kids may not remember an Adonis like Christopher Reeve as Superman in 1978 or that Gene Hackman played Lex Luthor once. Of course who can forget that even before Micheal Keaton's Oscar-winning performance as "Birdman" he once out on the cape and cowl in a memorable 1992 'Batman Returns' with the equally talented Danny Devito as The Penguin and Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. Keaton also took on "Batman" in the 1989 movie, with Jack Nicholson as "The Joker". Of course, we have Nolan's 'The Dark Knight' trilogy, offering impressive performances from Christian Bale as Batman and of course, Heath Ledger as The Joker. 

The Trinity: Superman and Batman are joined by Wonder Woman in her cinematic debut. 

So you see, there is a whole lot of history here, which makes Batman V Superman more than just what critics have been strongly suggesting. When you look at the grand scheme of things, the film has been a long time coming, with two of the most iconic superheroes finally coming face to face, not to mention the debut of Wonder Woman, after more than 70 years. 

The movie wasn't perfect, there were story telling flaws, plot holes and a pacing problem (I gave it an 8/10 in my review) but considering the rich source material, Snyder and the team, did the best that they could. You can say that DC is playing catch up to Marvel and maybe it is, given that Justice League is coming up, as well as the other origin films but to say that the movie is bad as it was, would be unfair. A lot of people who saw the movie, failed to grasp the greater scheme of things. Nothing is to put it 'simple' in superhero films, it is not a simple 'plot' anymore. Especially considering the cross overs and that they even tackle time travel and multiverse. Perhaps with the  birth of the superhero film genre, we have also created a new genre, new rules when it comes to plot and story telling. 

Not saying that all superhero movies will have these to hide behind from, there are still really bad movies out there (Wolverine: Origins, Fantastic Four) but Batman V Superman is not among them. 

The late Christopher Reeve as 'Superman' (1978). 

I came across an article that explains that Knightmare sequence, you may read it, just so you can get an idea of the bigger and grander scheme of things. Click here. Warning, it is littered with spoilers, don't read if you haven't seen the movie yet. 

Critics didn't like the film when they saw it; which is something that I don't agree with. You might say its because I'm a 'geek' or because I'm a 'fan' because I am - both, so you might say that I am biased and maybe in someways, I am but what people don't stop to consider is the big picture. Sometimes they get caught up in the details and because of that, fail to enjoy the movie. 

Michael Keaton as Batman (1989 and 1992). 

Kids might not get it maybe because they're not supposed to and that's okay, maybe in a few years they will. After they do their research, watch the old movies or start reading the comics. You see, all these superhero movies are just a spec in a larger mythology and something that a movie, even one that is two hours long cannot simply cram. They will do what they can, they will do their best but it won't be enough, it never will be. 

The film was not made for everybody but it was definitely made for the fans, fans who have long waited to witness these two complex and iconic heroes, stand toe-to-toe and face-to-face with each other. While chatting up with my cousin about the film, we talked about how the audiences probably have no idea that their fathers, uncles and grandfathers would have loved to have seen the film and that big 'gladiator match'. There's a lot of history here, these characters have been around for almost 80 years and sometimes we forget that. In the bigger picture, Batman V Superman will just be a notch in their rich discography. 

Subterrania Sessions: Getting to know Luis G. Katigbak

Our worn and weary copy of Luis Katigbak's 'The King of Nothing to do'
Apparently our niece turned the cover into a canvas for her 'art'.

A few years ago my sister-in-law gifted Paul with a compilation of essays by award-winning fictionist Luis Joaquin G. Katigbak. Paul excitedly told me how the author was a high school batchmate of Ate Anne's (Paul's sister). I read a few essays and was both entertained and amused, I didn't get to finish the book and it made it's way up our book shelf to sit among our other treasured paperbacks.

Fast forward to having our days revolve around work and the blog, the blog being divided into event coverage, photoshoots and writing about music, movies, books and you probably know whatever else that makes it to our little spot in cyberspace. 

Last January 31, 2016, we were originally planning to see "The Big Short" in the cinema but we got a message from Ate Anne asking if we wanted to go to a benefit gig at Route 196. We saw the event poster and was thrilled to find out that the line up of performers was nothing short of legends in the OPM Scene. Further exchange with Ate revealed that this was a benefit gig for Luis Katigbak, who is currently battling complications with diabetes, the very same writer whose collection of essays I (naively) put up on our shelf.

I grabbed a chair and like a 5 year old toddler got up to reach the book and I simply continued where I left off, an old photo of me and my siblings still marking the page. Reading it again, was just like catching up with an old friend and his crazy stories and thoughts about life in general. I have never had the pleasure of meeting Luis, but reading his essays, you sort of get an idea of the 'man behind the pen' or at least that side of him that he shared on paper. 

You wouldn't want to make him angry, he can get pretty creative with a box of matches and a bottle of alcohol (I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that) and I couldn't help but laugh about one story of him and his friends getting lost on their way to Malate. These essays were written in the early 2000, when there was no navigational apps like Waze, to make sure you are not kidnapped in Tondo. 

Since Ate had to be at work early Monday morning, you can say that by all intents and purposes Paul and I stood as her proxy. I really didn't know what to expect at the gig, it was going to be an older crowd for sure (which suits me just fine since no one would be calling me 'Ate Ica'). 

Just like Tom's Story's album launch, which took place the day before, Route 196 was filled to the brim with people and it seemed to be a weird déjà vu. When we opened the door to a packed bar, it was that weird déjà vu feeling again but instead of young millennials, it was your Titos and Titas on a Sunday night out. 

We got to hear the legendary cackle of Dong Abay of Yano as he performed the classic 'Banal na Aso, Santong Kabayo' and that's definitely one for the books! 

Ciudad performed next and I really liked their set as it was reminiscent of early 2000 pop-rock. I enjoyed the harmonies and the easy going melodies...hold that thought (opens Spotify, follows Ciudad and listens to a few tunes)...there :) I hope to see more of them soon and can anyone point me to where to get a copy of their physical CDs? #CDsNotDead

I don't think I've ever seen a bouncer in Route 196 which is relatively a small bar but then there he was, big in built and sature, firm in how he got the different artists to and from the stage safety, without being drowned in arms, hands and requests for selfies. 

If you asked me, it was a good call to get the bouncer, because sure enough, the crowd grew in number, just like in 'The Multiplication of the Loaves' only this time, instead of bread, they were middle aged fan boys and girls who were pushing and shoving to get the best view possible. I had Paul make sure he got a good spot to take photos and he was pretty much up to his elbows with...well other elbows, while I was pushed back to a far corner of the bar, literally by the door. 

Sure enough, as soon as Ely walked to the stage, the crowd cheered and brought out their cellphones, I suddenly felt like I was in a concert, where half the audience seemed to be making a photo & video documentary. Being 4'11 (and 3/4) I was happy to watch from the screens of their cellphones. All I could see were shoulders and heads after all :p 

These budding concert photographers and videographers...AKA eager 'Titos and Titas of Manila' were not only taking photos and videos but they were also messaging friends (probably making them jealous) of what they were missing, just like any good old friend would.

When they covered David Bowie's 'Starman' my head exploded since I just re-watched 'The Martian' on DVD and it was in the movie. It was one of those 'worlds collide' moments.  

Looking around, you can easily see that the who's who in the music industry was present that night, as well as other High School batchmates of Ate who marveled as to how Paul had grown so big. Apparently they all used to go up to party in the family house in Antipolo and during that time Paul was but a wee little lad. 

I was wondering how come all of these music icons were here tonight, 3/4 of The Eraserheads-wow! 

That's something! A simple visit to 'The King of nothing to do' the compilation of essays we had, revealed that Luis wrote for PULP and MTV Ink, and is currently Associate Editor for Esquire and yes, worked on that legendary The Eraserheads issue, which was always sold out in book stores when it came out (that bit on Esquire, I found out on Luis's Twitter).

Luis writes in his introduction for 'King-' that most of the material he wrote for these magazines (interviews, event coverage, reviews) -yes, things I (try) to write on the blog! would be perhaps 'complied for a future collection dedicated to music related matters'. Does anyone know if this transpired? I gotta get my hands on that, it would be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for me. (I am a Padawan, in search of a Jedi Master).

*The material that made it's way to 'King-' were from his column in the Manila Bulletin as well as contributions for MEGA and Cosmo. 

I've never had any formal training in writing (you can probably tell from my inconsistent use of punctuation marks or my frequent use of run-on-sentences, something that would give my old English teachers an aneurysm) if you might ask, I'm actually a graduate of Nursing and a board passer (I know, things didn't really pan out there). So now, I work as a Real Time Analyst in the BPO Industry during weekdays and write on the blog and contribute to other websites on weekends and whatever spare time I get. I know that to improve in my craft (AKA 'writing') I'd have to read a lot and while Steohen King, Haruhi Murakami, a YA Novel here and there-and yes even romance novels can keep the cogs turning, reading actual pieces worthy to be published in print in leading newspapers and magazines would make me a better 'writer'-or so the theory goes. 

Luis has a whole chapter on writing in 'King-' :) 

My copy of 'The Earaserheads' Esquire issue. I almost had to bribe the lady at National Book Store to secure me a copy. 

Sometimes there are too many PRs and reviews to be posted that I have the tendency to be sloppy with my work and just click on the 'Publish' button just to cross it out of my to-do list. I don't get paid for what I do on the blog but I do it anyways, because I love it. Which is why I can't help but admire Luis who actually got to make a living out of his writing, something I'd give an arm for. He succeeded in his profession during a time where the quality of your writing mattered more than your number of followers or how good you look in an overhead-selfie shot. Luis is the real deal and even if I haven't met him yet, I'm happy to have known him through his essays and I'm happy to now have a go-to source of inspiration whenever I'd run into a blank wall. 

Ever since I've started reading 'King-' Paul says there is a different style to my writing, I don't know if he's just saying that because we're married but I have definitely been more conscious of what I put down on the blog and have also tried to re-read to correct for grammar lapses as well as typos. 

Get well soon Luis! I wish I would have known you and your work sooner, I'm sure most of my published posts would have come out better than they did. 

All hail to 'The King of Nothing to do!' 

The King and my tools of the trade. I still do my writing with actual pens, any nice black pen will do - kahit Panda pa yan. A Faber Castel pen for writing titles. The blue hand is actually a bookmark. 

Taking on Jessica Jones

As a self proclaimed writer, I always like challenging myself, you know, really writing something. I feel alive when the words are quickly forming in my head and rushing to get either on paper or online. There are times when I just need to write for the sake of it, just to get a post up, just because I need to. So when my Managing Editor assigned me to write about the new Marvel-Netflix series Jessica Jones, I was both excited and a bit apprehensive.

Excited, because I love every opportunity to get to put on my writing hat on and really get the juices flowing. Apprehensive because the series is critically acclaimed with every critic writing about it. People I look up to are either already done with the series or are currently watching it and have been raving about it on social media. So yes, writing about my opinions was a bit nerve wrecking.

I didn't want to come across as naive or silly in my thoughts and opinions of the series and I guess that's what had me staring at a black paper longer than usual.

In the end, once inspiration hit, the words came and I was able to fill up one page, then another, and another and before I knew it, I was done!

You can check out my Jessica Jones write up on www.flipgeeks.com 

or you can click on the link here.     

What The Eraserheads' New Songs Mean in today's Music Industry

When The Eraserheads defined the alternative scene back in the early 90's I was too young to appreciate their music but I grew up surrounded by older cousins who listened to them. So their music was always playing in the background as a much younger me pretended to be Sailor Moon battling evil using a pink wand with bejeweled hearts and wings.

Years later when I was in College an was surrounded with my "Senpais" (Upperclassmen/Predecessors) AKA much older colleagues- Paul included in the College publication (school newspaper) they would always be playing their music in the office (Gin Blossoms, Mr. Big, Stone Temple Pilots, Slipknot) and of course The Eraserheads were never far behind, especially with the release of the Ultraelectro Magnetic Pop tribute album which of course also featured OPM's finest covering Eraserheads hits. The tribute album served as a bridge for me to admire OPM artists at that time, such as Imago, Barbie Almalbis, Kitchie Nadal, Sugarfree, 6 Cycle Mind, and of course to renew my admiration for The Eraserheads as well. 

Now, six years later after graduating College and after beginning  this crusade of mine of writing about OPM (started about a year ago) The Eraserheads are once again, shaking the OPM scene by coming out with two brand new songs over a decade after their last single! was released in such an unconventional way! -releasing a CD with the two songs, in the September issue of Esquire Philippines magazine. 

The band could have made much more money if the songs were release let's say through a telco company and with the many music apps out there today, releasing the two songs exclusively through an app would have been a gold mine. I bet that the two new songs being released in a "Magasin" (pun intended) was a punch to the gut for the Telco giants, but for them it wasn't about the money, it was about the music. 

"Looking for Ligaya in London" - Esquire Philippines September 2014
Photo by Jake Verzosa

In case you didn't know the two songs were released without the backing of any record label, as heard on the Jam 88.3 guesting of Esquire Editor-in-chief Erwin Romulo where the two songs were first heard. It was just something that they wanted to do, they were practically giving the song away, like a proverbial high five to the fans and supporters. 

So now that The Eraserheads have answered the question: What would they sound like in 2014? How does all of this fall in today's OPM scene? 

Are the songs "Sabado" and "1995" only for their old fans - you know those who have been with them all those years ago, who like them now have children and families of their own? 

How does the two songs and the fact that an OPM great such as them is still making music play into the new generation of OPM listeners who have Social Media and music sharing sites  at the tips of their fingertips? 

Looking through my timeline at any time of the day you will easily find the younger generation of music lovers proclaiming their love and affection for foreign acts and artists. I have no qualms about these kids since I know most of them and I'm very happy to say that they also show the same passion and fervor for local acts. 

What gets me and it's gets me real bad is the mentality of some kids who think that just because it's OPM it's "baduy". Whenever I encounter people like this, I want to strangle them. I've been to foreign concerts with OPM bands as the opening acts and I've heard people shouting things like: 

"We didn't come here to see you!" 

"Get off the stage! We want to see (name of Foreign band) 

Whenever I encounter people like that I want to dump beer on their heads! (much to Paul's dismay coz he says it's his beer) I mean seriously show some respect man! 

Which brings us back to the Eheads surprising and teasing come back (of sorts). 

Looking Beyond: Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno

"Huli man at magaling, maihahabol din." 

It is never too late to offer anything that is good. 

With this Filipino saying in mind, I am writing this review of mine, of Rurouni Kenshin Kyoto Inferno; despite having all of the Spoiler Free reviews out there or despite having all the movie reviews out there - period. Every since getting the opportunity to view films in special advanced screenings, I have always made it a point to come out with a movie review as soon as possible, I mean isn't that what all bloggers aim for? A movie review after a movie has already been showing for days would be 'mudada' or useless. Especially one that has received so much media coverage as Kyoto Inferno and to think that the first movie would not have even seen the light of day in any cinema in the Philippines, were it not for the continued support of it's avid fans. 

And so I am writing this as an avid fan, I am writing this as that blogger that I was when the first movie came out, I am writing this not just to say that the movie was amazing and you should all see it because every other writer, blogger and movie critique has already said that. 

As the title above says, this piece is geared more to be (or at least I think that it is shaping up to be) an essay of sorts, yes I was the type of student who worked hard on my essays, often burning the midnight oil and forming callouses on my fingers. Yes, kids, during my time (High School) essays were written by hand, with pen, on paper-shocking. 

So with this warning and caution, I proceed with this essay in the hopes that you, oh dear reader will see it with me through the end. 

It is already Sunday as I am writing this, Rurouni Kenshin: Kyoto Inferno has already been in cinemas every since Wednesday, and of course anyone who has been planning to see it, probably already has and as I have already mentioned this piece is more of an essay so spoilers will be over the place. 

I thought that reviewing Kyoto Inferno which is the first part of a two-movie sequel (the second being Rurouni Kenshin: The Legend Ends, which comes out next month) would be difficult to review as a single entity or movie since it is just one part of a two movie sequel. 

Although not having a 'conclusion' that will let you sleep peacefully at night Kyoto Inferno on it's own stands as a single entity and is filled with overwhelming themes of peace, hope, despair, revenge,that I have understood at some level the meaning behind the movie tag line "Feel the Future" 

The Children, The Children!

There are two scenes in the movie that tugged at my heart strings the same way, I was crying throughout the movie, my husband kept on bonking me at the head every time he would hear me stifle a sniffle, I was crying so much you'd think that I was watching a drama instead of an action movie. 

In these two scenes were so much tears were shed, Kenshin goes out on a limb to save the future- that is it say, children. One, is a young boy whose family is killed as collateral damage in Shishio's own private resort (hot springs) village. Praise to Sato Takeru's portrayal of Kenshin as you can see him transform thoughout the movie, becoming more somber and determined to stop Shishio as he comes face to face with the carnage, violence and death that Shishio's plans have wrought. 

He stops a young boy as he is urged on by his (cowardly) villagers to take revenge on the men that killed his parents, consumed with grief and hate the young boy lets out a cry of anguish as he is about to stab one of the men who killed and hung his family but before the dagger lands, Kenshin stops him in time. He says: "Do not spoil these little hands, soon they will become big hands and you should use them to protect your family-just like your brother did." (I'm just recalling the lines from memory, sorry if it's not exact) that was such a powerful scene for me, as you are watching this you see the violence and you think that what is playing before your eyes is too awful and too unspeakable to be true but then at the back of your mind and deep down in your heart, you know that there are children being beheaded and young children being turned into soldiers. You know that there are still wars in other countries being fought and so many innocent children are caught in the cross fire. 

In yet another scene where Kenshin risks his life to save a baby, he is taunted by his opponent, by asking if he would lay down his life for one child. Kenshin says that "yes- he would, as the children are the future, the future of an era he has fought for". In yet another powerful line in the movie, the sword maker Arai Shakku says that the swords that he create are not for his son's time but for the peace of his child after' (or something to that extent). It had me thinking, what kind of world are we leaving our children and future generations to live in? Is there any real peace even without war? What about the everyday wars and struggles that we face? How do we face them?

How A Bottle Of Coke Made Me Cry

Last Tuesday, I was feeling a bit down and depressed. The 'blue' bug bit me and thoughts of hopelessness were swimming in my head and gnawing at my heart, like a festering wound that never heals. I was walking around like the world was on my shoulders. 

At work I decided to take a look at the Pantry and at the corner of my eye I saw 250ml Coke bottles for sale in the ref. I thought, Hey- Why. Not? (I have hyperacidity and shouldn't be having coke in the first place) I picked one out of the ref and as I was in line to pay for it- I saw that it was a Share A Coke Bottle and with all the names it had to be my Daddy's first name! 

For those of you who don't know my Dad passed away when I was 10 years old, and I'm a Daddy's girl and a big cry baby so anything that reminds me of my Dad will definitely bring the tears coming in. I can just imagine the surprise of the lunch lady as my eyes no doubtedly started tearing up. 

I got my Coke drinking habits from my Dad, he's a big Coke drinker and he passed that on to me and unfortunately that resulted in Hyperacidity :p 

Seeing that Share A Coke With Rene label made me feel like I was drinking that Coke with my Dad and telling him all of my troubles and heartaches. It reminded me that despite all the troubles and challenges my Dad was there to remind me that everything was going to be okay and he was able to do that through a bottle of Coke. I'm so happy that after all this time he's still looking out for us. 

A couple of days ago I saw this Share a Coke with Ben collage- and I thought Awwwww poor Spider-Man :( and I never thought it would happen to me. 

Disclaimer: Coca Cola Philippines didn't ask me to write this. I'm writing this blog post from a personal perspective. 

KitKat Break Movement

During one of our "lagare weekends" (going from one event to the next) Paul and I were saying our goodbyes to a friend since we were off yet to another event. Our friend casually told her mom: "They're always on the go" and I knew that she hit the jackpot. With our busy schedule, hoping from one event to the next, taking photos and blogging afterwards there are definitely times when we get tired. Coming from the night shift, going straight to an event and going up to 24 hours without sleep is nothing new to us, it's so common that Paul and I have christened it going on Immortal mode.

Even if you are doing what you love to do, the body can only take so much and that's why it's always important to take a break once in a while :) 

You'll be surprised at what taking a few minutes off your task can do for you as well as the quality of what you are working on. A pop of sugar in your mouth can give you that extra boost that you need when you're just too tired to continue. 

Like that Arcana song goes: "So little time so much to do" and indeed there are just too many books to read, movies and TV series to watch, music to listen to, friends to see, things to write about. Well you get the picture, sometimes I think to myself that if I look back, I'd be left behind. That's why if I were to unlock a skill it would be the ability to multitask. 

As it is, I often find myself doing two to three things at once, (as I'm writing this I'm catching on Anime on the tube) I guess in this fast paced world we live in, there's just so much to do and to discover and I'm sure no one wants to be left behind and that's why multitasking is definitely a skill I want to have. ^_^ 

Of course I'm not naive not to know that we all have our limits and that's why I am a firm believer of taking a break every once in a while, whether it's a power nap or a 15 minute break outside to catch some fresh air or a handy KitKat to give you that extra sweet boost that you need. :) 

At work, it's also very important to take a break every once in a while and as a Real Time Analyst for a BPO company multitasking is something I always do, from making sure all my reports are submitted on time as well as watching over the Productivity of over 200 employees :P It does seem a lot to do on a Daily Basis but hey they don't call it work coz it's easy right? I just make sure I don't burn myself out by taking the necessary breaks to make sure that I am physically and mentally healthy and capable to get through the day :) 

After taking that break I am sure juggling multiple tasks would surely be possible ^_^ and you wouldn't have to worry about being left behind and you'll be able to cross out more items on your to do list! :) 

What special skill would you want to have? 

Come on and be part of the #KITKATBREAKMOVEMENT and make the Impossible - Possible! 

Nothing good happens after 2PM

Coz Ted Mosby says it best. 

The ever optimistic Ted Mosby from one of our favorite series - How I Met Your Mother has been known to say "Nothing ever good happens after 2AM". And this is because "the decisions you make after 2am are the wrong decisions." Now I have finally understood what he said - in my own terms and conditions of course.

Well for me, it is more appropriate to say "Nothing ever good happens after 2PM" simply because Paul and I live the strange and queer lives of people working in the Call Center or BPO industry, meaning we work the night shift and that means living the "undead" lives of vampires but the similarities only start and end with the waking up in the evening and sleeping in the morning part and surviving on coffee instead of blood. 

So, if you put on your thinking caps the "uneventful 2AM" to the ordinary person is "2PM" to the children of the night who are no longer goth kids but call center employees like us.  

Whether it is a biological reason or a human flaw which makes us incapable of making the right calls after our body has gone way beyond it's normal hours of operation; I think it was been placed there as a 'fail safe' by our benevolent creator as a reminder that we are not meant to run forever despite our fast paced lives and this is a reminder which rings true to me, for there are days/nights when Paul and I are awake for twenty four hours because of our unconventional occupation.   

Nothing ever good happens after -2AM this was the original caption that Paul gave for this photo which gave me the inspiration for this post. He ended up changing the caption of this photo to: "Left behind". Now that I think about it, Paul's photos have inspired me to write a blog post or two. I think that it's just that way between us - we inspire each other to be better in our craft and in our passions. :)

Ready to get back up!

In case you guys didn't know I had a challenging (I won't say bad) last quarter of 2013 - refer to this post here. Despite the set backs I've regained my footing and am now ready to get back up. 

In case you didn't notice I haven't been blogging or posting stuff online as much as I used to. Well this is mostly due to my unexpected change in plans. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been writing - I actually have been writing old school style in a worn out steno notebook, making sure I don't forget my thoughts and reflections; just waiting for the time when I would be ready to sit in front of my good-old laptop and start typing in a frenzied state and I guess that time is now. 

Even before I started blogging I've always had the 'itch' of wanting to write and wanting to get my thoughts across. I guess that's the frustrated writer in me wanting to break free from its prison. I'm just lucky that I got to hone my writing skills when I was in College by being part of the school newspaper. So even if I lack the formal training one requires to call themselves a professional writer I still get by as a blogger and freelance writer. 

So now I'm finally adjusted and I'm finally ready to regain my place in this obscure realm known as cyberspace. Because even if I lost myself, stumbled and fell I was still able to get right back up. 

It doesn't matter that it took time or that I still feel the pain at times; what matters is that I got right back up and I'm ready to be me again.          

What 2013 Taught Me

Thorns in the wind. Photo by Paul Cheng. 

Do you know how people say- this wasn't their year? Well 2013 didn't really end well for me - for two months (September - October) I've been feeling down and all this started one fateful September night when the world as I knew it turned upside down. 

I was wrongly accused and 'punished' for something I didn't do. Although I won't be going into the details since this blog post isn't about what happened to me but how I was able to pick myself up and move on. I mean when I was ten years old I woke up to find out my father had passed away so I'm pretty much used to the universe throwing shit in my way. 

Needless to say I did go through a period of depression but through the grace of God and the love and support of my family and friends I was able to dig myself out of the hole I put myself in. 

Before I got officially over the depression though, it got worse when December came around but now that I'm okay I can feel and enjoy the cool December breeze. (it's colder up in Antipolo) and I was also able to admire the Christmas lights. Even Paul who doesn't really get excited about Christmas started the practice of opening the Christmas lights on the tree. 

Our tiny but mighty Christmas tree and the presents for family underneath, which Paul would light up in the evenings. Photo taken two days before Christmas.

For the first time in a long time I finally feel happy and content and I am ever grateful to God for allowing me to be healed from my wounds. It's not like he waved a magic wand and made all the pain go away; there will definitely be some scars and I might be tempted to pick at the scabs from time to time. 

Shit does happen, some shittier than others but what matters is that you clean yourself up and carry on. 

Whether we like it or not there will always be bumps on the road, it can never really be just smooth sailing along the way. No matter how much lying in bed, crying your eyes out while eating ice cream and watching cheesy shows sounds appealing when you are down and sad, you will really have to pick yourself up sooner or later. Sometimes you might force yourself to get better because of responsibilities and because your family depends on you (like in my case) but you should never forget that the person that you should be the utmost reason of getting yourself out of a rut is no other than yourself. 

Warm sunlight through the trees. Photo by Paul Cheng.